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About Varied / Student ...Something.Female/United States Groups :iconleibe-adopts: Leibe-Adopts
~Just the Best~
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Deviant for 6 Years
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Statistics 87 Deviations 804 Comments 5,810 Pageviews


I honestly can't believe it's taken me this long to come to this decision, but I'm done. I'm done trying to convince myself that I still belong somewhere I probably never did in the first place.

Does anyone even READ these anymore? Does anyone comment on my page like they used to with "I MISS YOU COME BACK!" Um, no. They don't. Because everyone seems to have a leg up on me. Everyone else is more worth spending time with, kissing up to. Everyone is more talented, smarter, funnier, more enjoyable to be around. And me? I'm just sitting here rotting as EVERYTHING piles on more and more and more each and every day.

No matter how hard I try, it's never good enough. Never enough to keep anyone around, to keep things the way they used to be. I've promised people I would be there for them, but how can I do that when they've already deemed me incompetent, that I haven't done shit for them, that it's time to abandon ME? People always talk about their best friends, and I know damn well who my best friends are. Am I ever that to anyone? Am I ever just #1 to ANYONE? No. I'm not.

I now realize things are never going to get better. My life is one continous cycle, and it's always going to stay that way. I can see it happening again, too. Before long, I'll be replaced yet again by someone who's so amazing that you'd wonder why anyone ever stuck with me in the first place. But as someone once told me, they were just with me because they wanted someone, and sure enough when someone better came along, off they went. That's how I feel. Like I'm just the fill-in for people until they find that amazing person they're really looking for, be it with friendship, RPing, romance, anything. So then tell me, why the FUCK should I stick around when no one even gives a damn?

But if no one gives a damn, then I wonder, why the hell am I wasting my time even writing this journal? I'm stupid too, I guess. But I won't be anymore. This time, I'm going to push away before they get a chance to do it to me, because I know it'll happen. It always does, and frankly they'd be stupid to not take this chance and run away from me. But either way, once it happens, my heart will already have been hardened. It's just what I've come to expect.



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Shane-zero Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
happy b-day :iconkaminaplz::iconcakeplz:
CraniaMania Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
Hi lol
I'm judging from the journal that you don't use this account anymore.
But I'd like to say 'Happy Birthday!' regardless.

So, Happy Birthday!
Zeranran Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
Oh, wow, thank you for the fave!

And don't give up :C. I don't have much self-confidence in myself but keep trying hard, okay? We're our own worst enemy, and we all go at our own pace. Try not to compare yourself to others, a'ight?

Shane-zero Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
Happy b-day if I'm not online on the right day
chaos01234 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Snivy94 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you for the favorite! ^^
Shiverwar Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there.
Snivy94 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you for the favorite! :D
Zulite Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
thx you for the fav :D
AmbiguouslyAwesome1 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!
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